By Michele Lowry
“No animal I know of can consistently be more of a friend and companion than a dog.” ~ Stanley Leinwall
A couple of years ago a new client scheduled an appointment with me to meet her animal companion, a Maltese dog. As we talked about some of her dog’s issues, I was shocked to hear about her recent dog training experience.
For over 16 years, as the creator and owner of Nikoe Natural Therapies, I have worked with dogs and experienced many aspects of the relationship between people and their canine companions. I am not a dog trainer, but I have met and worked professionally with many trainers over the years as my healing work with a dog often overlaps with the training program the dog is working through. At Nikoe Natural Therapies, I offer an alternative approach to wellness, bringing awareness to the options available as seen through the animal’s eyes. Through intuitive insight, I create sessions that provide the most effective tools for healing, which may include animal communication, Reiki, Shamanism, improved nutrition, essential oils and gemstones.
When I first arrived at my new client’s house, her dog wore a collar with the leash dragging behind. My client said that she had been told by her dog trainer to ignore her dog completely, as this would teach the dog how to behave more appropriately. I felt immense sadness from both the dog and the woman. They were so far removed from the relationship they created with each other and the issues they were having did not need isolation and disconnection. They needed understanding and connection.
My client felt the discord and intuitively knew that something was terribly wrong with this approach, but she dealt with another issue within herself. She didn’t know how to say no! Within a few minutes of her sharing with me her concerns, I suggested that she remove the leash and resume the loving relationship they both knew so well. Once she unhooked the lease and embraced her dog, she cried and held her dog even closer.
We talked about the effects of restraint and isolation and how, in our view, it was not a positive form of dog training and that an individualized based training plan for each dog is more beneficial to target specific issues and relationship concerns. We worked together to undo what had been done and bring her and her dog back together. My client was so relieved that she did not have to continue to follow this regime and on completion of our session, I recommended dog trainers, who would approach dog training in the similar fashion as we discussed and were more aligned with her values.
I share this story with you because I wish to bring awareness and choices to you as you find a dog trainer and/or join a dog training class. My intention is that this article will give you options and bring about change to prevent one more dog from having an unnecessary experience in a dog training program, as well as create an opportunity for us all to further develop our intuition and be the advocate for our dogs that emanates from the truth within our gut and our heart.
We love our dogs!
Dogs are loyal members of our family. They love us unconditionally and bring joy to our lives. They are playful and kind, while also being intuitive, smart and often make good assessments of character and safety in certain situations.
We strive to have our dogs behave in a socially acceptable way in our homes and in public. We are proud of our dogs and want others to interact and love them as we do. We talk about them like they are our children and relish in their fun, loving antics and the laughter they bring to ourselves and our family and friends.
In the process of striving for socially acceptable behavior for our dogs, we often seek out a dog trainer, training classes or private sessions from which our dogs learn obedience, agility, nose work, and more. All sounds good so far! Classes can be fun and a great way for us and our dogs to meet others with the same love and expectation. Individual sessions may be more conducive to the dogs who have issues around interaction with people or other dogs. There are no hard and fast rules, and your trainer will know the best way to support you and your dog.
How do you find a dog trainer?
Referrals, advertisements, and shelter classes are a few of the many ways. In my work, I often meet clients with dogs who have behavioral issues, either ongoing, from a sudden change or because they are a rescue dog with an unknown history. In some of these circumstances, the dog’s behavioral choices may be a reaction based on fear or a decision either to be dominant or submissive. Their body language and reactions vary immensely, but needless to say these are all responses that are often concerning to you and create complication when taking your dog into your community. With some people’s frustration and a desire to correct the behavior, they begin to search for a trainer to help them find resolution.
So far so good! Right! Or not! Take a moment to think about your own intuition. Yes, it’s in there. Notice how you respond in any given situation and how you find resolution. Is it intuition or a well-oiled response to past experiences or survival techniques you have learned over the years? They worked for you before, so it’s your go-to.
Needless to say, we are all able to tap into our intuition, this innate ability, in any given situation. Our intuition is incredibly accurate and can be as instant as it is for our dogs when making quick or unexpected choices. Now imagine you have found a dog trainer, who perhaps came recommended, or with good reviews, or perhaps simply one who is local and convenient to you. You and your dog schedule a time to meet the trainer and you begin to discuss the issues at hand.
During your conversation, you begin to notice one of two things within yourself. You either are warming to the trainer you are talking to and you like the way they interact with you and your dog. You notice respect and understanding, compassion and a positive relationship being created. You like this person and trust this person with your dog to create a learning environment that is beneficial and caring. You feel good about this choice.
Or, as you spend time with this new trainer you find yourself feeling uncomfortable around them, confused by the conversation and concerned about the methods being offered to ‘train’ your dog. Something doesn’t feel right, but what do you know? They are the trainer, right? Imagine yourself leaving your dog with this person – how does it feel? This is so important to any decision and choice you make. Notice how your dog is responding to this person and the interactions being created. Is the trainer being respectful to your dog? Do you sense any nervousness or fear in your dog? Is the trainer asking a lot of questions to get to know the relationship you have with your dog and the kind of life you are looking to create together? Remember that you know your dog!
Notice what you are feeling as you deepen your conversation and interaction with this dog trainer. Do you become protective of your dog? Is there something deep within you that says loud and clear – this is not the trainer or the right environment for you!
Our canine companions teach us about loyalty and kindness. They care unconditionally and want to be part of our pack as they would be in the wild. Isolation, detachment and punishment are methods that a human understands, even if they don’t like it. However, this is not understood in the same way, nor is it a natural existence for a dog, especially in a family setting. For a dog, creating ‘good’ behavior through fear-based training is nothing short of control and lack of partnership. These, therefore, from a dog’s perspective are far from appropriate training methods.
In 2011, I created the PHUR (Providing Healing Using Reiki) animal shelter program. Through PHUR, I witness a wide range of dog behaviors and emotions from those who were severely abused or neglected to those who see life as one big party and are on to the next adventure! I learn from these dogs how to be sensitive, intuitive and guided to invite the most optimal healing environment for them.
With a team of 20, we work together with the animal shelter’s Trainer/Behaviorist and Care Manager to develop an individualized plan for each dog that will fully support them, while also incorporating the added knowledge gained through Animal Communication and Reiki about how they feel and what they need. We discovered that when there is deep emotional trauma many traditional training options don’t work, as the dog cannot function rationally from a place of mistrust, fear or simply not knowing what their job is. Powerful results occur when we combine emotional clearing, which I believe needs to happen to have training be more effective with positively rewarded training methods. As we work together to create healing, we have seen incredible, sometimes tear jerking shifts that show how we can all be open to giving life one more try! Combining all the skills together, we create options for resolution.
How can you effectively be your dog’s advocate?
I recently met several new clients, who have been in a similar predicament as my client with the Maltese dog, and have bypassed their own intuition to later find out that the trainer’s methods were far beyond anything that they consider kind and compassionate, nor were they aligned to their own values. They were upset by the reactions of their dogs and the methods they were told to carry out at home in order to create ‘acceptable’ behavior.
In this situation, you want to say, ‘No, thank you,’ to this dog trainer, a professional in the field who at this moment is deemed to know more than you, but something is holding you back from sharing your thoughts and feelings. Now imagine if your dog could speak to you. (Which they can!) What is he/she telling you?
Here’s the kicker, you already know how they feel because of how you are feeling! Your dog is part of your family, part of you and your world – you already know! The empowerment of trusting in your intuition, being guided and strong enough to thank the trainer for their information AND voice that you feel this is not a good fit for you and your dog.
In a world where we are often taught to find resolution for ourselves through someone else, I invite you to turn within and notice your own feelings, your own innate knowing and make choices that ultimately you know/sense are right.
As you discuss the training program with any trainer, tap into yourself and your dog.
- How do you feel?
- Observe your dog.
- Has anything changed behaviorally with your dog?
The easiest observation is to notice whether your dog willingly interacts with this person or more importantly, not. If your dog is not willing to interact, does the trainer honor this and not induce aggressive behavior in order to make a connection with your dog.
There are many amazing, kind and positive training methods linked with science-based information on dog behavior that effectively create positive-based improvements, which I view as the method that heeds the most beneficial results for your dog and you. I have witnessed a number of incredible trainers who work with your dog in ways that is easy, natural and effective. Your dog receives positive rewards while learning how to interact within situations in safe and socially acceptable ways. This work may take a while and require consistent practice and most importantly, follow-up, but it ultimately provides an amazing, deep connection between you and your canine companion that lasts a lifetime
I believe the biggest lesson for us as humans is to listen, to develop our natural abilities of telepathic communication and intuition. So many people tell me that they feel they have been talking with animals since they were a child and share with me wonderful stories of these encounters. Believe that you can do it, too, and already are!
Why is your intuition so important?
I believe animals teach us to trust our gut, our intuition, and our deep knowing when something feels right and, even more importantly, when something feels wrong. We ARE our dog’s advocates. We ARE who speaks up for them on their behalf. We ARE their connection to the outside world and we ultimately ARE responsible for making decisions for them. It has taken me many years to find my voice for myself, to speak up for what I believe to be true, but it took me less time to find my voice for my animals and I am now clear in how I communicate with others around the choices I make for the care and health of my animal companions.
I believe that when we are faced with any situation, we innately already know what feels right and what feels wrong. It’s that first response, reaction, feeling in your gut. Our personal learning curve is being comfortable enough to act on it and trust in our choices! If a choice you are making creates sadness, concern, fear, doubt or mistrust – listen! If you see a change in your dog’s behavior or reaction to a situation that is not normal for your dog, perhaps this is the only way your dog knows to tell you something is very wrong and know that it is ok to either ask more questions of someone or to choose to say no!
How do we discern what is intuition and what is our mind overriding it? Intuition is immediate, our mind kicks in afterwards to negotiate with what we are feeling or sensing. Perhaps we are trusting in a recommendation from a friend or colleague or we feel we are on a time constraint or the referral is so well respected we feel asking a question is doubting their knowledge. Perhaps saying ‘no’ feels disrespectful based on their years of experience. In my own experiences, I agree that people have built up a reputation, experience and knowledge along with their skills and studies to be in a position to make suggestions. I will always be respectful of someone’s knowledge; however, if for some unknown reason it doesn’t feel right for me, or my animal, then I will choose to re-evaluate the situation. And, I feel very confident in those choices. It’s about finding your own level of confidence and knowing what feels right to you.
As the advocate to our dogs (and all our animals), it is for us to step up and ask questions of any professional. If they are true to their work and care about their clients, if they are compassionate and understanding, they will honor your desire for additional information. If they honor your questions and discuss them further, then it is likely these professionals have you and your dog’s best interest at heart.
I find it very empowering to trust my own discernment and make choices and decisions for all my animals that I feel are in their best interest. I have learned through some harsh personal lessons in witnessing techniques that clearly didn’t look right and knowing they were not right, yet choosing not to speak up and not be the advocate. During those years, I lacked the confidence to question someone’s action regardless of what I was feeling. Life has given me many situations to encourage me to be the advocate and express my thoughts.
How many times have you felt after a situation, ‘If I had just listened to my gut!’ I invite you to become more aware of your intuition. I invite you to check in with yourself and see how you feel when faced with any choice or decision you need to make. I invite you to experience the empowerment of trusting your gut response in any given situation, and in particular, in choosing a dog trainer for your loving canine companion and being their advocate.
Sending love and blessings to your beautiful journey with your beloved animal companions.